Thinking out loud.

Discussion in 'Diaries & Captain's Logs' started by 9K, Jan 28, 2022.

  1. 9K

    9K Galactic Officer Staff Member Administrator Diamond Donator

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    Somewhere, in a house near the coast of the Yggdrasil district of Haven, a woman with way too many thoughts running through her mind and way too much home to feel comfortable in alone flops onto her bed with a datapad. The audio recorder is running. There'd be some shuffling, and then a deep sigh audible as that eventually calms down.

    "It's...what, the- the twenty fifth?" Another moment of shuffling was heard, and then more words, "...Twenty sixth. Whatever." She'd let out another sigh, and a bit more shuffling could be heard.

    "The days have uh...kinda been blending together, I-I guess. It's...almost a month out now, si-since you left. I read that this was...well- something people did to find some uh...closure, even if you'll never hear these. I guess it's kinda like when Charlie uh...y'know, d-died. How I'd go visit his grave really often and uh...talk. Only you're...we-well, you're not dead. I'll probably do this every uh...couple of weeks, or something. Sorta...watch myself as I adjust, i-if I even do."


    "I...well, Kealohi gave me some advice. Said I should uh...make a time capsule sorta thing, wi-with all the things that were supposed to be like...memories for us, a-and things that remind me of you a lot and like...store 'em away and put them somewhere. So I could look at 'em again when I'm ready. I...thought about it, but there's a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. Like, I-I can barely stand t'be in this house right now. It's weird how a place can like...bring all these memories up all the time and uh...still feel more empty than ever when I'm here." Another long, sad sigh could be heard, "...I dunno what I wanna do about it, so I've been like, distracting myself, a-as much as I can with this...Atlas shit, a-and just like...having guests over to cook for and stuff. I haven't even looked in our scrap book since you left. Just uh...hurts too much. Yeah."

    "...Hurts to think about how you might be doing too. I...figure if I'm this much of a wreck over everything, uh...y-you probably are too. It gets t'me every night when I'm tryin' to sleep. If you came back, I...I don't think I could help but just wanna go back to the way things were."

    And then eventually, some sniffling could be heard, like the voice is about to start crying, "I...I hope you find someone else out there eventually, 'cause I-I don't want 'ya to be a wreck like me, but...ho-how the fuck could you do that t'me?" And then, like that, after a bit of sobbing, the recording would cut.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2022
  2. 9K

    9K Galactic Officer Staff Member Administrator Diamond Donator

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    Click.
    The sound of leaves rustling was audible, and so was the wind every now and then. Evidently, wherever this recording was, it was certainly taken outdoors. The idle patting of something...metal? Metal, and flat, being gently hit against a dense pack of what was probably dirt could be heard. A shovel? Probably. Flattening the ground after whatever she just did. A few moments would pass and a long sigh would be let out after the patting stops, and then some scraping could be heard, as the one recording takes a seat against a tree.

    "That does it, I guess." The same voice as last time would say, "Done and buried. I uh...finally took Kealohi's advice. It took a month to work up the nerve...it...wasn't enough, though." She'd say before sniffling, as if she just got done crying again, "There's...a lot more that like, I-I still have trouble seeing, o-or bein' around, so...I packed in a lot of that too. I-into a big time capsule. Had to uh...change all my digital stuff too. I...put all our pictures, o-on my phone into a little drive, a-and I'm just gonna keep that out of the way where I won't like...see it, a-and get the urge to look through 'em all or something, before I'm ready..." She'd ramble on for a bit before going silent, for probably a full ten seconds or so.

    The silence, eventually though, would break. A quiet, sad huff bordering on a sob could be heard, "I'm...a-afraid, honestly." She'd say, taking a moment to find the right words, "I buried...o-or hid away everything involving you, so I wouldn't get such uh...ha-harsh reminders, all the time, but...i-it was the best time of my life, I..." There'd be another long pause, and then the sound of some rustling and shifting again. There'd be a light thud and a quiet gasp, another sigh leaving the person as she moved to lie down and stare up at the sky presumably, "...I'm afraid of forgetting. Forgetting the way your face looks, or how your voice sounds, o-or...why that was the happiest time of my life."

    The sound of birds chirping could eventually be heard in the background. Based on the silence she'd seem to just quietly listen to that for a few moments, "I've...told a few people about everything that's happened, but uh...a-about two months have gone by and I still haven't told most of my friends. I...just hope they understand why, wh-when I'm eventually ready to. I've...noticed I've been staying out of public a lot more though. Should probably work on that. Just...needed some time, I guess."

    "...I'll try to do another one of these. Maybe with uh...less of a time gap, too."
    Click.