Seymour Says

2021 edit: funny virus made things change, contact if interested why I went back on leaving 100%
le funny title.
Hi guys, it's your old pal Seymour. 99% of you are probably thinking to yourself, "who-mour?" and I'm right there with you. I'm completely inactive here on the forums and only a small blip on the GC radar. Anyways, I'll save the rambling for the meat of this post. TL;DR below if you don't want to slog through some brain spewing and just want to know the point of this post.

TL;DR - Officially parting from GC. Character fates way below the rant if you care to know how their stories end.

Yep, that is correct, after all these years I think it's finally time to drift away. Six years to be exact. I started playing this server on December 25, 2013 - nearly six whole years ago. Wow. To say it feels like it's been a lifetime would be an understatement. So much has happened to me, my characters, this community and server as a whole it's a bit insane to even comprehend. Like I mentioned earlier, this post will be a weird trail of thoughts as I go down memory lane and also eventually explain everything I guess.

I never thought this day would come, or anything more would spawn from my original poop placing meme Apex character on that fateful day, but here I am. Many of you that know me or think you do is probably because of this character. Minny Caspan, my first pride and joy. I'll spare the immense amount of detail surrounding that character or else this post would be 100 pages long. If you know, you know. Anyways, before shit hit the fan with her is where I really started to get inspired in writing and storytelling. I knew that given thought and effort, I could create a fun and detailed story that made my heart happy. And beyond that, a story other people wanted to engage in and were excited to be a part of. Despite what I may say further down the line here, these memories are ones that I'll never forget, and this place will always be in my heart as what started me off on one of my biggest passions. It will always be insane to me how stupid ideas, like a child monkey, or scumbag thief, eventually evolved into so much more. Minny and Seymour have been through so much, and gone so far off the beaten path but in the best way possible - it breaks my brain a little. Anywho, I'm rambling about stuff that no one cares about, but am also mainly just writing this to kind of let out my stream of conscious. A lot of this is just stuff I've wanted to say but never had the chance to, important or not.

That spiel aside, it's time for what you probably DO care about - why I'm leaving. It's a lot to unpack, and perhaps may make me hated in the end, or seem selfish or entitled, but these are my true opinions and thoughts that I want to unleash. I've never wanted to be the type to hide behind a false persona.

Rant/Reasoning begin.

For starters, the sheer amount of time I've spent here has certainly been enough, and far exceeds what most anyone has spent here, and what I expected to spend here. Six years is a lot of time. One year to me already is a lifetime, so my time here is 6 of that. I feel that although my stories are unfinished, I spent enough time here to tell them to the best of my ability, and leave behind perhaps something that even just one person might remember and be inspired by. My secondary largest reason is time. As myself and everyone around here grew up, we all lost time to do this. I know it isn't true for all, but is certainly true for me and most those I involved myself with. RP went from daily, to a few times a week, then once a week.. once every other week.. once a month as time goes on. You get the idea. I'm not saying it should be daily by any means, and I realize it does come off as entitled, but my point is that when it drags on, I personally lose all momentum and enjoyment. Especially with the rise of Discord based roleplay, one could be waiting weeks to months just to get a few sentence reply. And I personally don't want to be the guy to hound someone to reply, because maybe I'd be the asshole, or pushy or something, but still. That to me digs deep for a lot of reasons, I feel like I'm not worth any time of day, that my story here is pointless, and it's a chore rather than a fun pastime. Don't take this as a callout post, or a truth, maybe I'm the only person on the server to experience this, but it still has utterly killed any enjoyment in the medium I once had. A third reason is that I'm sort of an outcast, but I also take full blame for this. When I was hated years back, this began, and I never properly resolved it. I always wanted to be a main figure in the community, but constant hatred from a vocal minority caused me to be pushed away. When that dust finally settled, I was weary and never fully integrated myself back in. I was an outsider, but still there. Then, every time I'd pump myself back up and try to be active, I'd just get into an RP or become friends with someone who quit a short time after, or something happened and I'd go back to being a recluse again. This cycle happened over and over, get RP idea/make friend, do it for a bit, lose it, depression, get idea - you see the pattern. I feel like I had to restart character stories over and over with various people in hopes they'd stick around. I felt like either I just develop them but no one is around for it, so it didn't matter - or try to make it matter, but get burned in the process. Maybe I'm really just insane, but this cycle broke my will and I never really recovered my full grace I once had. My probably last reason is mental health. All the stuff I said above has taken a toll on me. You may see it as a flick on the wrist, but for me all these 'small flicks' added up, and one can only take so much before they snap, even if you view it as minor. It's not good for me to keep doing this to myself, and pretending like I am ok and go on like this. I think I got in too deep and way too attached to my characters and now after so much garbage I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I just feel miserable and like a failure and worthless because something I care so much about keeps getting dumped on, regardless of whos fault it is. Non GC related reasons is just having to deal with life, work, other stuff, ya know, the outside we all hear so much about.

I am sorry if this all is coming from nowhere, or perhaps hurts you in any way. For me though, the writing has been on the wall, staring me down, pushing me to finally let it out and give the best conclusion I can so no one is left wondering.

End rant.

Yeah so uh, guess that's that. If you're here you either read that mess or just want to know how everyone's favorite characters wound up. Well, here goes nothing:

Minny Caspan - Lives with Shep, if she could. They have a happy father/daughter dynamic and are finally a family again. If not, she's still on the streets, regretting most everything she did in her life, waiting out the days until her end.

Cordelia Kimsley - Confessed some amount of feelings to her dear friend Ryker. She'd tell him that she was going to return home, despite it being a horrible idea. She had unfinished business and felt that the way she went about settling it was wrong, and whether she survived her attempt to change the system or not, she'd still give it a shot. She'd go on to tell him that he shouldn't come after her, for he would be killed, and that even if he did make it, she wasn't coming back for a good, long while.

Leah - Tries her best to help out Raelyn with whatever she goes through as best as she can. Is mostly on the sidelines, and not seen often. Really is just an outlet for advice or help if needed, but isn't actively around and really is only there in dire times.

Alexis - Still works for Atlas, probably doing bottom of the barrel works. Still wishes she could be more, and still is depressed about Lloyd. Probably bothers him by being too much of a suck up. Never entirely shakes her feeling of being a reject.

Seymour Everett - After previously saying goodbye to the Fringe, Seymour made another brief return as he had a few times before. He'd contact all his friends, allies, really anyone that answered him, and told them goodbye. He'd explain to him that the Fringe was too cruel, and not meant for him at the moment, as he was mentally weak and still not over everything he went through. Lost wife, lost kids, lost friends. Loss all over. Afterwards, he'd give them all a large sum of pixels, somewhere near the 100,000 range - but would leave behind 2 million each for Lyra and V, if they ever were to discover he did so.The rest laid dormant in.. someones.. account. Also, he reassured everyone that he was not committing suicide and would be alive among the stars, out there somewhere. Afterwards, he'd never be seen again.

Athena Everett - First told Estas, then whichever of her friends were still around, that she couldn't take it anymore. Her mental stability was all but gone now. The constant abuse of others, the lies, the uncertainty of who she was, abandonment, all that fun stuff. She had it. Wracked with grief, she'd tell Estas that she loved her, but had to let her go, then one way or another got her off the ship. Whether willingly, or by force into the escape pod, Athena made sure she was gone. Once alone, Athena took to the cockpit and blasted the ship into full throttle, aiming at the surface of a nearby planet. Athena would be truly happy for the first time in a long while knowing that herself and the Everett family legacy were about to come to an end - and then it did.

 

It's sad to see you go Cauch, but I wish you the best.

 

It's a shame to see someone else go, but I suppose life calls us to move on. Sad we never got to interact much outside a few light Discord interactions, you seemed pretty cool, but regardless, wishing you the best for whatever comes in your future yo